Talking to your Child About Your Illness

A parent’s cancer diagnosis can be stressful for a child. And while a parent must focus on their own care and treatment, they should also be aware of and address their child’s physical and emotional needs. Below are a few suggestions that we hope will help you and your family as you face this challenge.

Maintain open and honest communication. Do not try to hide the situation or protect your child from the truth. Chances are your child will know there is something wrong. Without the facts, they may fill in the gaps using their own imagination, which may be more stressful than knowing the truth itself.

Provide information in an age-appropriate manner based on your child’s developmental level. A response that is appropriate for a 6 year old may not be appropriate for a 12 year old. Your general practitioner, hospital ,The Cancer Society , school social worker or your child’s teachers may be able to help you.

Make sure the communication is  two way. Be attentive to direct questions from your child, as well as to questions or concerns that they may not have words for, but for which they need answers and reassurance. Remember too that children speak through their behavior as much as through words. This is particularly true of younger children.

Make your child’s environment safe and secure. Offer plenty of support and reassurance. Send the message “we can deal with this.” Let your child know that their needs will be met, despite changes that may be necessary.

If your cancer has resulted in behavioral or cognitive changes, address those changes with your child. A specialist familiar with your medical status can fill in the details to help explain behavioral or other changes that may impact your child.

Maintain daily routines. Keep your child’s life as normal as possible.If there are activities you can no longer do with your child, try to find friends, family, or neighbors who can fill in for you. For younger children, try to keep up bedtime rituals and other special times you have with them. Be careful not to overburden an older child with responsibilities they may not be able to handle.

Please call us on 0800CANCER(226 237) for further information, or resources.We have an extensive libray of children’s books on understaning cancer.Please come and see us or contact us if you would like to source any of the books.

Naena Chhima

Cancer Information Nurse.

WHAT IS LYMPHOEDEMA?

Lymphoedema is swelling caused by a build up of lymph fluid in the body tissues especially in the layer of fat under the skin. Normally lymph flows through lymph vessels, but if the lymphatic system is damaged or inadequate it cannot handle the usual amount of lymph, and fluid builds up in the tissues.

Lymphoedema results in swelling of the limbs and may involve the trunk or head as well. Lymphoedema causes swelling in the affected area, discomfort, loss of movement and calls for practical and psychological adjustment.

Prevention is the best approach.

How will I know if I am getting lymphoedema?

Watch out for changes in sensation, feelings of tightness, heaviness or swelling on the side from which the lymph nodes have been removed. You may notice a change in skin colour or feel of the skin. Rings, bracelets, clothing or shoes may feel tighter, pain or tension in the limb. Speak to your doctor. See the Information Sheet ‘Where do I go for help to manage lymphoedema?’

Treatment Options for Lymphoedema and Preventative measures for those at Risk or who have Lymphoedema.
Self Care:
• Wearing a Compression Garment day &/or night is paramount if lymphoedema is present. For those in the public system, garments are funded through the DHB. For those without lymphoedema and needing a prophylactic garment for flying, these can be hired through the Cancer Society.
• Skin care – Daily moisturising to avoid dry skin. Important for preventing infection which can trigger or increase the swelling.
• Daily exercises specific for people with a compromised lymph system – around 20 minutes /day.
• Daily Self-massage approx. 20 minutes/day or alternate with exercise regime.
• Information: contact The Cancer Information Nurse: 0800 226237

Thanks: Naena Chhima: Cancer Information Nurse.

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