Celebrating Christmas can be difficult for people who have experienced
a major change or loss in their life.
Feelings of loneliness, isolation and sadness are common and Christmas traditions can be painful reminders of how different life has become.
Julie Holt and Naena Chhima, Cancer Information Nurses at the Cancer Information Service and Cancer Helpline, said the service receives many distressed calls from people affected by cancer over Christmas and New Year.
“This can be a very difficult time for people affected by cancer,
“We speak to patients who are fearful that this may be their last Christmas.
Others may be worried that their feelings and emotions may ruin the
celebrations for others.”
Julie and Naena say family and friends finding it difficult to cope with Christmas without a loved one also called the Helpline.
“When people are facing Christmas without a loved one, this can bring forward overwhelming feelings of loss and grief. As experienced cancer nurses, we are here to listen to people’s cancer experiences and share emotional and practical support to help people cope with the feelings of sadness and sorrow.”
Julie and Naena encourage anyone finding it difficult to cope with cancer to call the Cancer Information Helpline on 0800 CANCER (226237) or email info@cancersoc.org.nz
Strategies from others affected by cancer
Sharing experiences and coping strategies can help people get through
difficult times. Julie and Naena spoke to patients, family and friends affected by cancer, as well as people coping with the loss of a loved one to find out how they coped with Christmas. Here are some of their suggestions:
Set realistic expectations
Consider online shopping and/or gift vouchers for Christmas presents.
This can save both time and energy.
If you are experiencing financial issues, consider making home-made gift vouchers for things such as babysitting,
gardening, or a picnic.
Booking Christmas lunch or dinner at a restaurant, arranging a picnic at
a local park, or simply asking people to bring a contribution to the
Christmas meal can reduce stress.
If you are having treatment over Christmas, consider having a low key
day on December 25 and plan a celebration at the end of treatment.
Express your needs
Tell others if you are finding it difficult to cope and accept offers of help.
Be specific about things people can do to assist.
Be gentle with yourself
Give yourself permission to get through Christmas the best way you
can. Let people know that you may need to have a rest on the day. Try
to accept any limitations and remember Christmas doesn’t have to be
perfect.
Mood swings and feelings of loss are common over Christmas. Allow
yourself some time to grieve and reflect.
Have an exit plan prepared for times when you may find a family
gathering or party overwhelming.
Keep activities simple and non-strenuous
Fatigue is a common side effect after cancer treatment. Avoid
overwhelming numbers of visitors and long car trips. As energy levels
may fluctuate, sometimes it can be helpful to plan the day’s activities
and then halve them. Allow for rest time during the day.
Keep meals simple. If the person with cancer has had to change their
diet, serve food that can be enjoyed by everyone.
Create new rituals
If your usual Christmas rituals or traditions are too painful, consider
replacing them with a new ritual or tradition that is special to you. For
example, you can light a candle in honour of a special person who has
died and place it with a photo or flowers on the table.
Seek support
Talking to someone about your feelings can reduce feelings of distress
and isolation. Family and friends can be a good source of support.
If you need to talk to someone anonymously, the cancer nurses on our
helpline can listen to your concerns and put you in touch with support
services. Call 0800 CANCER (226237) to speak to a cancer nurse today. We also recommend that you carry out of hour contacts for your treating doctor and hospital.
Helpline Support
The Cancer Information Helpline, 0800 CANCER (226237) and email a nurse at info@cancersoc.org.nz, will be available at the following times over Christmas and the New Year:
Thursday 24 December: 8.30am-3pm
Friday 25 December: Closed
Monday 28 December: Closed
Tuesday 29 December: 9am- 4pm
Wednesday 30 December: 9am-4pm
Thursday 31 December: 9am-4pm
Friday 1 January: Closed
Monday 4 January 2010 Closed
Tuesday 5 January 2010 – 8.30am- 5pm (back to normal hours)
Answering machine messages and emails will be checked on the days we return to the office. To have your call returned, please leave your name and phone number.
Our online forum CancerChatNZ www.cancerchatnz.org.nz will be taking a break from Thursday 24 December – 5 January 2010
Other support services:
Lifeline (24hr/365 days per year) ph 0800 543354
Acknowledgement
This information sheet has been adapted with kind permission of the authors, our Australian colleagues at the Cancer Council Victoria Cancer Helpline www.cancervic.org.au
December 2009.
