Communication and language

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    Is it normal to feel annoyed by the language that some people use to communicate with you? How am I best to go about communicating that I don’t like certain types of language with my family and friends?

    A friend for example said to me the other week that I am so brave and then she compared my experience to that one time she had to get a blood test. My extended family also always uses the term battling which I am so against. The word battling to me is if dying is akin to failure.

    I am curious to hear what other people have experienced in terms of language they don’t like during treatment?


    hi Jess,

    It does not worry me too much the “wording that people use at times”. I mean some people may not be too good at expressing their feelings when it come to writing it down. But when you see them in person (if they are friends that is) one hug can make all the difference. You may feel all their love and support then.

    Take care all the best to you


    Hi Jess,

    We often get people commenting to us that they don’t the battle/fighting language that so many people use about going through cancer. Some see it that if you can’t cure your cancer, it implies you didn’t fight hard enough rather than cancer being a disease out of the individual’s control. Other people often find it hard to know what to say to someone who has cancer and some even avoid the unwell person because they feel so uncomfortable. Many patients have told me that they have spent a lot of time comforting their friends rather than receiving support themselves. I agree with beenthere2 that many people just don’t know how to express themselves, and might put their foot in it and say the wrong thing, even if the feelings behind the words are quite different and genuine. I know it can be hard, but it’s fine for you to say what you don’t like about your family’s language perhaps by saying… ” I’d rather see this as a ….than a battle…” or being gently assertive about friends conversation by stopping them and redirecting the conversation. This is not always easy to do, I know! You are certainly not alone in finding others people’s language difficult.

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